Thursday, September 01, 2005

Crashing & a breakthrough

I had the talk with my boyfriend this afternoon when he was on-call (I probably should have let him sleep but it needed to be said). By 'the' talk I don't mean about my weird and wonderful diagnoses but about what happens when I crash and am with him. I broached the subject due to fear mainly, over the fact I thought he'd leave me if I crashed and wouldn't want to be around me (it's happened before). I don't think I am crashing really badly at present but I can feel myself going down and I wanted him to be prepared for what might happen.

He took it extremely well and told me "not to worry, he loves me anyway" but I don't really believe that, I think he's just being kind. I think being over-worked and sleep-deprived on one on Newcastle's less glamourous surgical wards left him just wanting to get rid of me and convince me that, for the moment, everything was just fine.

The paranoia continues.

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